World Cup Songs

With the World Cup in South Africa starting up like a clapped-out old banger, for the moment perhaps it’s time to focus on something other than the standard of football on show. Is it the ball? Is it the biting cold? Or is it just that Ronaldo, Rooney, Messi et al are a bunch of overpaid, over-hyped millionaires ruining some well cut grass? Whatever, we’re going to turn our attention away from the wayward passes and impressively persistent vuvuzelas and onto a spot of World Cup music. There’s the brilliant DeStorm’s One Goal (above) which is a truly awesome, uniting track. There’s also this bunch of chancers…

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First up we have the effort from Dizzee Rascal and James Cordon with their unofficial World Cup song. Here they are performing it on Britain’s Got Talent, clad in personalised England jerseys and doing a special Jedward-style bit of jiggy. It’s not exactly bad, but would it truly get three yeses? Well, seeing as it’s backed by the all-conquering Cowell, perhaps affirmative…

But at least Dizzee is an actual pop star, unlike Neil Morrissey who’s currently famous for brewing beer and being in a sitcom the last time we had a Tory government. He’s the latest celeb to jump on the Engerland bandwagon and this is a take on The Tokens’ 1961 hit The Lion Sleeps Tonight except Neil’s lyrics go like this. ‘In the jungle, the mighty jungle, three lions sleep tonight’. See what he did there? The worry for all of us, of course, is that they might stay asleep for the next two games. While Neil’s effort is a tad cringey in a dad-at-a-disco kinda way, it looks like the work of musical genius compared to the next one…

Rik Mayall’s Noble England drowns us all in laddishness while he dresses up as St George, replete with shield and Jabberwocky-style old fella rap. Lordy. Ade Edmondson joins in the fun as Englishmen are depicted as lardy, snarly, flag-waving morons. Maybe he’s onto something there.

But it’s not all about D-list celeb tracks. No, there are oodles of World Cup songs cluttering up YouTube, so for a spot of quality control we headed over to the World Cup Song website, where you can still enter your song till right up to the final whistle and win a tidy £1,000. Which is just what Gerry Asmus has done and at the time of writing, Gerry’s It’s Our Game was top dog for the grand. His effort is, erm, terrifically English (ie crap), but never mind. We did like a couple of South African efforts though, with The Rumbar Girls’ Spicy World Cup Song getting a tip for its jauntyness (see above) – but the winner is definitely DeStorm’s One Goal (top) which is packed with drums, heady beats, a tip-top message of unity along with an excellent accompanying video. The moral of the story is – if you want a decent World Cup song, much like the football itself, look overseas…

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