News has reached us today at RealMusic Blog HQ that Diego Maradona wants to manage Aston Villa – they wanted a big name so I’m sure chairman Randy Lerner is, er, thrilled by the offer. But we’ve got a better suggestion for you Randy – ditch Maradona and hire Madonna. Think about it: she’s fit, robust, always up for a challenge and comes with her own training soundtrack ready-made. What’s more, we’d pay money to see Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer interview her about her 3-4-3 formation…
Now we know it’s leftfield but Madonna has some tip-top skills that Villa could certainly utilise – despite being three years older than Diego. For a start, she smokes a lot less cigars and is more widely known for being more of a gym bunny than the mini-Argentine, skills we’re sure she could impart to the likes of Stuart Downing, Ashley Young et al. Getting the whole Villa squad doing those thigh-busting squats she does in her videos can only improve their performance. Madonna trains for a few hours a day – just like footballers – and she knows all about performing at the highest level, evolving as necessary and keeping consistently high levels of performance – all traits that Villa certainly need.
Plus, Madonna already lives in the UK, so there will be none of that settling in to handle. In addition, Madge goes for the younger man, so will be able to handle the Villa squad with ease. Finally, the motivational talks – when Madonna speaks, nobody in that dressing room is going to let his mind wander is he?
So Randy Lerner, if you’re reading this perhaps Madonna rather than Maradona is the answer to your problems. Thank us later.