Singles Club

Singles Club is BACK! With us this week are Beyonce, Shontelle, Kano, Same Difference and very rude Katy Perry. What would her Christian parents say?

Beyonce – Why Don’t You Love Me?

In all honesty, we don’t think this is a sentence Beyonce has ever truly uttered, but this video sees Mrs Jay-Z in ultra-playful mode, wheeling out another persona, this time not Sasha Fierce but rather B.B. Homemaker replete with whip, martini and panda eyes as she implores “Why don’t you love me when I make me so damn easy to love?” Like a desperate 50s housewife, this is Beyonce with tongue firmly in cheek, rocking up with yet another nailed-down modern classic to be belted out by women everywhere – after Single Ladies, it’s clear that someone was paying attention in the Gloria Gaynor Masterclass 101. Applause.

Shontelle – Impossible

Shontelle opened for Beyonce on her I Am… Sasha Fierce tour, and the next step on from Shontelligence – officially our favourite pun-filled album title of 2008 – the chanteuse is back swinging her shiny locks, with an even more alarmingly pink and shiny jacket in tow. This is a belter of a track, building to epic proportions as Shontelle shouts about her lost love liderally from a rooftop, wind machine ably aiding the ambience. With so many X Factorites out there it’s somewhat amazing in this day and age to see a traditional soul singer barking it out like in the old days with a skip full of slap on. Makes me feel a little wistful. You go girl.

Same Difference – Shine On Forever

In the same week that Olly Murs releases his debut single, here’s two other X Factorites bravely soldiering on when the odds were stacked against them after evil Simon Cowell turfed them off his label in 2009 (boo, hiss), along with the unfortunate Leon Jackson. Same Difference are made of tougher (and let’s face it, freaky) stuff and this new release is Colgate-bright, whip-smart pop, the stuff of Steps’ fans wet dreams – the chorus even has a supremely learnable dance routine. “Shine on forever!” chirrup siblings Sean and Sarah, he with his Lego hair, pumping fists and hilarious attempts to snare a girl – a bit like watching H trying to get jiggy with a laydee. Still, they’ve got a new record deal and the tweenies seem to like them, so Same Difference may just have the last (direct to camera) laugh.

Kano – Upside

Left lagging behind Dizzee et al in the commercial stakes, this latest track from Kano tries to address the issue while also attempting to stay stapled to his hip-hop roots. The rhymes are true and the track mixes up tempo and style with some skill, drafting in Michelle Breeze to add some lilting pop mettle a la Dido to the mix. The result can seem a bit jagged on first listen, but this a grower and deserves some success for the forgotten man of grime. The video has that downbeat East End swagger – Kano still keeping it real and resolutely refusing to sell out. Yet.

Katy Perry – Teenage Dreams

Finally this week we have Katy Perry, her of kissing girls fame, soon to be Mrs Russell Brand. The second track from her new album of the same name is a sparkling pop ditty that ticks all the boxes – summery and loved up with a hook so large you could hang your coat on it. So how can we make it even bigger pondered her marketing people. Why don’t we have Katy doing a spot of soft porn and getting it on with a hunky chap in the video? Genius idea shouted Mr Head Honcho in a chequered shirt and slip-on shoes. What with GaGa, Rihanna, Pink and XTina opting for girl-on-girl and bondage overload, Katy’s one-on-one with a bloke almost seems twee dunnit? Watch the video here.

(Clare Lydon)

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