The Chinese Horoscope: What’s Your Sign?

black-beauty

Happy Chinese New Year, especially if this is your year, the year of the Horse. But what does it mean if you’re born under the sign of Dobbin? That you’re leggy, easily startled and have a liking for leather? We all know what our astrology signs say about us, but what does the Chinese horoscope say about you? Let’s find out…

Horse: 2014, 2002, 1990, 1978, 1966, 1954, 1942

Key Traits: Stubborn, straight forward, blunt, loyal. Prone to prolonged hair-brushing.

Compatible With: Tigers or Dogs, steer clear of Rats. Difficult if you are alive.

Goat: 2003, 1991, 1979, 1967, 1955, 1943

Key Traits: Orderly, closed, confident, artistic. Tendency to bleat.

Compatible With: Rabbits or Pigs but not the Ox. Never the Ox.

monkey

Monkey: 2004, 1992, 1980, 1968, 1956, 1944

Key Traits: Quick-witted, bright, lively, versatile, smart. Likes to squawk, a bit stupid.

Compatible With: Dragons or Rats, but Tigers should be treated like Iceland ready meals: best avoided.

Rooster: 2005, 1993, 1981, 1969, 1957, 1945

Key Traits: Honest, energetic, intelligent, flamboyant. Prone to cockiness.

Compatible With: Oxen or Snakes but beware the Rabbit. Nothing but trouble, dem rabbits.

dog

Dog: 2006, 1994, 1982, 1970, 1958, 1946

Key Traits: Calm, intelligent, honest, worrier, good listener. Tendency to urinate in random places.

Compatible With: Tigers or Horses, but keep your guard up around those hissy Dragons.

Pig: 2007, 1995, 1983, 1971, 1959, 1947

Key Traits: Reliable, affectionate, smart, short-tempered. Always wants more Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.

Compatible With: Goats & Rabbits but mainly other Pigs. Quite vain, Pigs.

rat

Rat: 2008, 1996, 1984, 1972, 1960, 1948

Key Traits: Imaginative, charming, ambitious, power-seeking. Favours Hawaiian shirts.

Compatible With: Dragons & Monkeys, but stay away from Horses.

Ox: 2009, 1997, 1985, 1973, 1961, 1949

Key Traits: Carefree, inspirational, honest, good leader. Prone to playing midfield for Arsenal.

Compatible With: Snakes & Roosters, but if you see a Goat run for the hills!

tiger

Tiger: 2010, 1998, 1986, 1974, 1962, 1950

Key Traits: Sensitive, brave, aggressive, emotional. Unlikely to turn vegan.

Compatible With: Horses & Dogs, but Monkeys spell Trouble with a capital T. You hear me girlfriend?

Rabbit: 2011, 1999, 1987, 1975, 1963, 1951

Key Traits: Friendly, conscientious, superficial, commitment-challenged. Don’t be fooled by the fluffy-wuffy cuteness.

Compatible With: Goats & Pigs but steer clear of Roosters. Very noisy.

dragon

Dragon: 2012, 2000, 1988, 1976, 1964, 1952

Key Traits: Intelligent, talented, loud, popular. A bit of a bleedin’ showoff, if we’re honest.

Compatible With: Roosters & Snakes but avoid Goats at all costs.

Snake: 2013, 2001, 1989, 1977, 1965, 1953

Key Traits: Witty, passionate, intense, vain. Slippery when wet. And dry.

Compatible With: Roosters & Oxen but do not associate with Pigs. You heard it here first.

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