So it turns out that 100,000 people think they have swine flu, according to new government figures – and after contracting a runny nose and sore throat, turns out I’m now one of them. But rather than take a trip to my local doctor’s surgery – a low-rise 70s building filled with all manner of lifeform, only some of them human – I thought I’d consult the new swine flu website that’s been set up recently.
Continue reading » “Swine! flu”
If I had to list a top ten of days out, you can bet my arse and those of at least ten others that going to the zoo wouldn’t be at the top of my list. I see animals as mainly serving two purposes in life: food and for being dressed up in high heels for those comedy greetings cards. Shots of guinea pigs shot-putting always raise a smile too. But the thought of walking around gawping at animals, then gawping at more seems somewhat futile. Plus, I’m a big scaredy-cat, so if a rabbit so much as moves its paw in my direction, I might faint.
So when the love of my life told me that she wanted to go to the zoo for her birthday, I had to swallow my first reaction whole and attempt to look enthused. She didn’t buy it, but at least she knew I cared. And I agreed to go to the zoo – after all, this is her day and it’s my duty to accompany her.
Continue reading » “Going To The Zoo, Zoo, Zoo. How about you?”
Evening then. Welcome to my new website, resplendent in red and black like a freshly laundered hooker. Let me set the scene for you. I’m sitting in my lounge, Scrubs is on the telly, the clouds outside are apathetically grey and there’s a crow sitting on the fence that keeps tilting its head at me. When I say sitting on the fence, I literally mean that – it’s not an indecisive crow.
Anyhow, for my first post I’ve decided to complete a bunch of sentences for your amusement. Here goes… Continue reading » “Me, me, me!”